I Hate This Part
by vampyremiyu
Summary: Written in response to the Song Title challenge for the LJ community "ouran contest"... A surprise confession leaves Haruhi unsure of the direction of her life. Must she really choose between love and friendship? Tamaki x Haruhi/Kyoya x Haruhi. One-shot.


I HATE THIS PART  
An Ouran High School Host Club Fanfic

Written by Miyu, Vampire Princess

AUTHOR'S NOTES: Written in response to the "Song" challenge for the LJ community "ouran_contest". Tamaki x Haruhi centric with mention of Kyoya x Haruhi. The lyrics used for inspiration are from the Pussycat Dolls single, "I Hate This Part" from their album, "Doll Domination". The album rocks! Please give it a listen. ^^ A Standard Disclaimer appears at the end of the story.

--

"Miss."

"Thank you, Ernie."

"My pleasure."

"Where should we go now, darling? The Tower? The park?"

"Anywhere is fine, Tamaki."

"To the park then! It should be beautiful with the light covering of snow."

"Yes, sir."

===*===*===*===

_We're driving slow through the snow on Fifth Avenue  
And right now radio's all that we can hear  
Now we ain't talked since we left, it's so overdue  
It's cold outside but between us it's worse in here_

===*===*===*===

Haruhi Fujioka sighed as the limo pulled away from the curb. The dinner had been delicious. The restaurant was one of her favorites. Her boyfriend made the reservations weeks in advance. An early birthday present since he would be away on business. She was thankful, very much so.

"We must come back."

"Yes," Haruhi replied with a brief smile.

Tamaki Suoh, her boyfriend, smiled as he looked out his own window. "I can't believe it's already snowing."

"Yes."

However, something weighed heavily on the young woman's mind.

She had wanted to talk with him for weeks. Something that was a matter of importance. To her at least. Over a matter that concerned them both. Their relationship.

It had been such a whirlwind, Haruhi remembered. Ever since high school. They faced many challenges, helping each other through college and supporting one another as they sought out their chosen careers. To many, it seemed like a perfect relationship. And things were splendid, once upon a time.

But it was far from perfect.

No one's perfect, Haruhi reminded herself. However, Tamaki's absences were taking a toll. The more business he did overseas, the more he was gone. She found herself missing his smiling face when she awoke in the morning. Missing his silliness and goofiness while playing with his dog, ???. Hearing his voice offered only a little comfort. She was a busy woman herself, embedded in a large law firm thanks to his family's recommendations, but coming home to an empty house night after night was becoming too much to bare.

Trust had never been an issue in their relationship, so rumors of affairs and trysts didn't faze her. She knew Tamaki loved her. He may have looked at other women, acted the dramatic part of Host Club king, but he would never stray.

But when her trust in herself came into question, a slew of knew questions began to rise in her mind.

Left to her own devices in a world where she felt so out of place, the 23-year old woman was drowning. And her boyfriend, who had been her rock -- her salvation -- in this world had suddenly vanished. She now relied on someone else. A close friend. An intimate confidant.

A new love.

She tried to deny it for weeks, months even. But a single confession had changed everything. Three simple words she hadn't heard from Tamaki in a long time. And by his best friend of all people! Haruhi's head still swam with his words of love. It was almost too much!

But he promised her time. Time to review her own feelings. Time to decide for herself.

It was the greatest gift anyone had ever given her.

However, she was still undecided.

Her feelings for Tamaki had waned, yes. But she wanted to give him a chance. Wanted to talk with him in hopes of getting their relationship back on track. There just never seemed like a good time to discuss it.

And seeing him smile now, happily watching the snow fall as it fell outside, only made her feel guilty.

Actually, she'd felt that way more often than not in the course of their relationship. He always gave -- and from his heart -- and never asked anything in return. She felt cherished, but always in a box. He was proud of her achievement, but she never felt as important in their relationship as she would have liked. Whenever she did something for him, it felt awkward, forced. She'd tell herself it's only fair. Of course she wanted to do nice things for him! She loved him!

Didn't she?

Tears swelled in her eyes as she continued to watch the snow outside. It twinkled in the city lights. Daring a look at Tamaki, he was still entranced by the view. The look of child-like awe tugged at her heart. His smile was big as he turned to look at her.

"Isn't it gorgeous, Haruhi?"

She tried to smile, but fell short.

Her heart pounded in her chest, adrenaline rushing through her system. Looking out the window, she had an urge to run away. To just leave and never look back. But she couldn't do that. Not to him. Not after that wonderful dinner. Not after everything he'd done for her.

"Haruhi?"

Could she?

===*===*===*===

_The world slows down  
But my heart beats fast right now  
I know this is the part  
Where the end starts_

===*===*===*===

"Stop the car."

"Excuse me?"

"Stop the car!"

Confused, he did as she requested. Tamaki signaled for the driver to pull over. But the door opened before the car came to a complete stop. The young man gawked as Haruhi quickly got out of the car, stumbling in the dusty snow because of her shoes. He followed her onto the sidewalk, wanting to say something, but unable to speak. Was it something he had said? Something he did?

"Haruhi?"

She turned around, pulling her coat tighter around her. She hadn't taken the cold into consideration when she decided to do this, and her evening gown was poorly suited for this weather. Her long hair was already lightly covered with snow. But the cold was her only comfort, and her eyes.... Tears fell like raindrops. She tried desperately to hold them back, but enough was enough.

"I...I can't do this anymore, Tamaki," she said through sobs. "I can't."

"Can't?" He moved forward, gently grasping Haruhi by the shoulders. His attempts to read her expression failed on so many levels. Still confused, he spoke reassuringly to her. "Talk to me."

She shook her head vehemently. "I...I'm sorry. So sorry."

===*===*===*===

_I can't take it any longer  
Thought that we were stronger  
All we do is linger  
Slipping through our fingers  
I don't wanna try now  
All that's left's goodbye  
To find a way that I can tell you_

===*===*===*===

"For what? You're not making any sense."

"I...I can't. I'm sorry," she said backing away from him. "I don't...love you anymore."

Tamaki was floored, his brain doing cartwheels trying to comprehend what was happening. Pain and confusion were evident on his face. In his eyes. "You don't...love me?"

"I'm not sure...if I ever did." Haruhi's tears continued to fall, her eyes staring sadly at Tamaki. "But...."

The young man looked hopeful. "But?" However, the look on her face grew sadder and his hopes quickly deflated.

"I...I love someone else."

Tears stung Tamaki's eyes as realization finally dawned on him. "Someone else? You...."

Haruhi wanted to offer him comfort, but was frozen in place. Not from the cold, but from fear. "I'm sorry. I wanted to say something earlier but you...you seemed so happy about this date. I didn't.... I mean...."

"I see."

The sudden change in the young man's demeanor frightened Haruhi. She had seen him scared. Seen him depressed. Seen him angry. But this...this went beyond all of those. Wiping away his tears, his expression became unreadable. His eyes became distant, despondent. His posture sagged, then straightened. A fist clenched at his side, then released. Clenched then released.

"Tamaki?"

His jaw ticked as he tried to smile but failed. Instead, the young man turned away, stepping back toward the vehicle that awaited them.

"Please say something, Tamaki," Haruhi begged.

He paused at the door, but didn't look back as he answered, "I'll take you home."

"Tamaki...." Haruhi's heart shattered at that moment. When he didn't respond, she made her way back into the limo as well. She closed the door quietly, glancing at the young man beside her. "Tamaki?"

"The Ohtori residence, please."

"Yes, sir."

Haruhi's heart stopped. "I never said...." Her eyes widened. "How did you--?"

"We are friends, remember," Tamaki muttered. "Or, at least, we were. I knew you were spending time with him in my absence but...I never thought...."

"Tamaki...."

"I'm such a fool."

Again with the guilt. Would she ever feel anything else for him? "No, you're not."

"Yes, Haruhi. I am." The young man shook his head. He slumped in his seat, his eyes staring distantly out the window. "I should have seen it. I should have known."

"You couldn't have," Haruhi tried to reassure him. "You...?"

"Weren't there?" Tamaki laughed at himself. A harsh sound, even to Haruhi's ears. "Yeah. I know."

"Tamaki...."

===*===*===*===

_I hate this part right here  
I hate this part right here  
I just can't take your tears  
I hate this part right here_

===*===*===*===

Nothing else was said as the limo made its way through the city. Haruhi felt her heart still beating wildly in her chest. What now? This was not how she had wanted to confront Tamaki about their relationship. Not how she had wanted it to end. She wanted them to discuss their problems, to face things head on. However, that time had come and gone.

It was over.

And her heart -- what was left of it -- sank into the pit of her stomach.

They exited the city and headed into the western hills. There were several mansions in the area, all belonging to prominent businessmen and politicians. One in particular stood out among them. It stood out like a monument in the hills. The lights lit up its blue marble exterior like a special exhibit. The gate opened as they pulled up, and the car made its way to the main entrance. Two servants were already waiting outside. The driver must have called ahead.

Haruhi suddenly felt sick.

"Sir, we're here."

Wasn't she supposed to be...happy?

"Thank you," Tamaki replied.

Haruhi sat motionless as Tamaki exited the limo. She reached a shaky hand for the door handle, only to draw back as the door was opened for her. She expected Ernie to be there as she peered outside. Instead she saw Tamaki, standing with a hand extended towards her. She stared at it for a good minute before tentatively placing her hand in his.

"I hate this part," Tamaki said as she exited the vehicle.

"So do I," Haruhi said with a sad smile. With a sigh she offered one last apology. "I'm sorry, Tamaki."

He offered her a smile. It was his usual, upbeat grin, however, something was missing. Emotion. There was no joy. No happiness. Only a cold, hard feeling. He released Haruhi's hand and her heart sank deeper into her stomach when he responded, "So am I."

"Tamaki."

The young man seemed unfazed by a new voice. That of his best friend. His smile was sad as he nodded in acknowledgement.

"Kyoya."

Haruhi swallowed hard as she looked between the two men. It was not supposed to be this way. It wasn't! But with a sickening thought her logical mind brought up a good question.

'How was it supposed to go, then?'

"Tamaki...."

"Take care of our daughter, mother," Tamaki finally said.

Kyoya was clearly shocked by his friend's words. What was it he had expected? Anything but Tamaki's smile. Anything but his best friend walking away. There was no response he then realized. Nothing he could possibly say to ease the hurt in Tamaki's eyes as he gave Haruhi one last glance before getting back into the limo.

"I hate this part," Haruhi heard Kyoya say as he draped his own jacket over her shoulders. "But we knew it would come to this. It had to be done."

"Yes," Haruhi replied, tears once more streaming down her face. "But I still hate it."

"Shall we go inside?"

"No. Not yet."

Haruhi stood in the falling snow, watching Tamaki's limo drive away. A piece of her left with him. A part of her heart he had taken back in high school. She would never be able to get it back. Perhaps someday, he'd find it in his heart to forgive her. To be happy for her. But for now, she'd accept his sadness.

His hate.

"Goodbye...my friend."

===*===*===*===

_I hate this part right here  
And I just can't take these tears  
I hate this part right here_

===*===*===*===

~OWARI~

DISCLAIMER:  
Ouran High School Host Club is a brilliant piece of work by creator Bisco Hatori. Originally published in 2003 by HAKUSENSHA, Inc., Tokyo, Japan, this masterpiece is being translated and published by VIZ Media for fans in America and Canada. I do not own a single piece of the characters used in this story. They were kidnapped and used here without permission.

The lyrics used are from the single "I Hate This Part" by the Pussycat Dolls, and appears on their album _Doll Domination_ (c) 2008 Pussycat Dolls LLC. Again, I own nothing!


End file.
